Today's my birthday, and I'm working! Yep, that's right, 365 rain, sleet, snow, hail or high water. I'm here doing the dirty work, on hand and knee scrubbing in between creating delicious delights in the kitchen. Am I doing it willingly? No, not today.
Today is my day! My holiday from being Mommie, or in Aqeelahs case "Daddy". I didn't expect to have an outlandish surprise party, or even get a new diamond. I knew it wasn't feasible to go home and celebrate with my mom and sisters. Although, none of those things would have been frowned upon ;-) All I wanted for my birthday was a new puppy, and a day of rest. And, I didn't really ask for a full day. Since it's Sunday and we like to have brunch on Sundays. I cooked and even did some cleaning and then the whammy....
My sweet husbands gotta run out, no problem. He didn't want to take EITHER of the kids. Kinda peeved, but I can still have a peaceful day if I just let them watch TV. THEN my cousin (mentioned in previous post) turns two into three with an impromptu stay over. At this point I could throw a big fit, or I could make the most of it and bribe the three of them with movies and snacks. Except, they are arguing. AND Aqeelah peed her pants.
This isn't my ideal birthday, but I'm the MOM and I can handle a little pee. Until a little pee turns into Aqeelah pooping on the bathroom floor. NOW I'M PISSED!
I call Muhammad to tell him to come home, he's wondering whats wrong with me so I deliver the short version... "Your daughter just $#!t on the floor". I'm sure you're reading this and thinking what could Muhammad do about the situation? I felt the same way, and quickly called him back up to let him know I would deal with it myself. Muhammad stayed gone, but was kind enough to make a stop at Baskin Robbins and bring home a quart of my favorite Rainbow Sherbet! Unfortunately, before Muhammad would arrive back home Aqeelah pooped AGAIN, but this time on the living room floor.
I cleaned all the poop up, and am still washing clothes :/ The truly sad thing is I can't call this my worst birthday :(. There's nothing I can do now, except tell all the well wishers that I'm blessed to see another year, and NO, my birthday wasn't a wonderfully fun day. In fact it was business as usual.
Even though today was supposed to be MY DAY it was just another day. I'm a MOM, debate-ably the best job on Earth. And as such I am not entitled to the aforementioned "day, or half day off"! These children are my fault, so I will get over my moment of selfishness and remember that poop happens!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
My last day as a 25yo
Quarter of a century to get here, and gone in no time! It seems like just yesterday I was a headstrong adolescent, and now I'm nearly 30! I have gone through 9496 days, 1356 weeks, 311 months on earth, and that's pretty exciting! The accomplishments along the way, though they may not seem like much to some, have made me the woman that I am today. A better daughter, sister, friend, wife, and mother. There isn't anything that I would do differently.
And yet this birthday, while it's not the typical milestone is really causing me to pause and reflect. My 25th year had many difficulties, and each battle seemed like the end of the road. My marriage, child rearing, friendships, and financial health had each been strengthened and then stretched to the limits. So this, my 26 year, I pray for more optimism, and patience with myself. That I might remember during the crazy days and short nights there isn't anything better for me, then my life.
Success is living life with no regrets, I pray that 26 will hold continued success.
And yet this birthday, while it's not the typical milestone is really causing me to pause and reflect. My 25th year had many difficulties, and each battle seemed like the end of the road. My marriage, child rearing, friendships, and financial health had each been strengthened and then stretched to the limits. So this, my 26 year, I pray for more optimism, and patience with myself. That I might remember during the crazy days and short nights there isn't anything better for me, then my life.
Success is living life with no regrets, I pray that 26 will hold continued success.
Friday, February 26, 2010
She's JUST a baby!
I have never felt so strongly about adults not expecting more from children then today. Aqeelah has been making strides this week with her potty training. We have a chat every morning about her being a big girl for the day and making sure she listens to her body. She had two full days of no accidents. That's a great achievement for both of us. No it's not where we want to be but it's better than where we were.
I'm finding myself more willing to talk to her about her accidents instead of getting upset. Today she had an accident at the optometrist. I was really embarrassed and almost didn't, but decided to tell the staff that she had an accident in the chair. The chick behind the counter got snappy with me! I wanted to go off on her, to tell her that my baby feels badly enough already. Instead I finished up and walked out. Poor Aqeelah, she really looked upset. Needless to say, that will not be our doctor!
And this has reminded me that for all my struggles, my kids are just that, kids. I know there are things that they should be doing in all of their stages, and to expect more just isn't fair or realistic. So while I may want Jibrael to listen to directions the first time, or have Aqeelah go to sleep the first time I say, I think I am learning that they need time to be kids. And as kids they need to have accidents, to JUST be a 2yo and a 5yo. This time has passed too quickly already, why rush the process?
I'm finding myself more willing to talk to her about her accidents instead of getting upset. Today she had an accident at the optometrist. I was really embarrassed and almost didn't, but decided to tell the staff that she had an accident in the chair. The chick behind the counter got snappy with me! I wanted to go off on her, to tell her that my baby feels badly enough already. Instead I finished up and walked out. Poor Aqeelah, she really looked upset. Needless to say, that will not be our doctor!
And this has reminded me that for all my struggles, my kids are just that, kids. I know there are things that they should be doing in all of their stages, and to expect more just isn't fair or realistic. So while I may want Jibrael to listen to directions the first time, or have Aqeelah go to sleep the first time I say, I think I am learning that they need time to be kids. And as kids they need to have accidents, to JUST be a 2yo and a 5yo. This time has passed too quickly already, why rush the process?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
It can't be this hard!
I've been thinking about the progress that I have, or have not made at home. It's kinda disheartening for me, I know that I have been making a difference but I have so much ahead of me. I still haven't REALLY gotten Aqeelah potty trained, sure she pees in the potty, but as I've been informed if it's only when I tell her shes not actually trained. I wouldn't say that her behavior has gotten much better either. She throws tantrums and hits. I don't expect her to be perfect, she's still a baby, but after being at home for two months I do expect to see some changes... maybe even knowing my name!
As for Jibreal he seems to be enjoying me being at home more lately. He's growing up so fast and growing into quite the little smart ass! He's got a mouth on him, and I wasn't expecting that for another couple of years. Sure sometimes it's cute for your kids to question you. But for the most part it's just annoying. I'm finding myself counting to ten several times a day to avoid hurting his feelings. And I wonder if he realizes how much he hurts my feelings by being so mean. I know, that's a childish point of view. It all just becomes so clear when your the mom. To think of all the asshole moments I had as a kid, ha!
I guess that means both the brownsuga babies are entitled to act like babies. And I'm supposed to, as their mom, teach them how to be respectful and not pee in their pants! But why does it have to be so hard? I mean if insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, what does that make motherhood?
I still don't see how I was doing any of the things I NEEDED to be doing while working. My days pass so quickly and I don't get everything that I wanted to done. I'm thankful that Muhammad is so understanding, He hasn't complained once about dinner or having to help with bedtime. But I imagine I'd better get my self together before he gets wind of my failures. I just know if women can stay at home with 5 kids, I should be able to manage my 2! So I'm gonna take it one day at a time and have a little more patience with myself, after all I can't let them see me sweat ;)
As for Jibreal he seems to be enjoying me being at home more lately. He's growing up so fast and growing into quite the little smart ass! He's got a mouth on him, and I wasn't expecting that for another couple of years. Sure sometimes it's cute for your kids to question you. But for the most part it's just annoying. I'm finding myself counting to ten several times a day to avoid hurting his feelings. And I wonder if he realizes how much he hurts my feelings by being so mean. I know, that's a childish point of view. It all just becomes so clear when your the mom. To think of all the asshole moments I had as a kid, ha!
I guess that means both the brownsuga babies are entitled to act like babies. And I'm supposed to, as their mom, teach them how to be respectful and not pee in their pants! But why does it have to be so hard? I mean if insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, what does that make motherhood?
I still don't see how I was doing any of the things I NEEDED to be doing while working. My days pass so quickly and I don't get everything that I wanted to done. I'm thankful that Muhammad is so understanding, He hasn't complained once about dinner or having to help with bedtime. But I imagine I'd better get my self together before he gets wind of my failures. I just know if women can stay at home with 5 kids, I should be able to manage my 2! So I'm gonna take it one day at a time and have a little more patience with myself, after all I can't let them see me sweat ;)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentine's VII
My day was phenomenal! And I almost did absolutely nothing at all :)
I gave the children waaaay too much candy and enjoyed just laying around with Muhammad. I wish we had more days to do this, but tomorrow is Monday and we're back to the grind.
For now I want to say that seven, yes seven Valentine's days as his wife and I can't wait for the next one. Not because he remembers to get me a card or any kind of gift. In fact he usually doesn't do either, but life with him is a daily anniversary and I'm thankful for any chance we get to celebrate. I LOVE MUHAMMAD YASIN!
I gave the children waaaay too much candy and enjoyed just laying around with Muhammad. I wish we had more days to do this, but tomorrow is Monday and we're back to the grind.
For now I want to say that seven, yes seven Valentine's days as his wife and I can't wait for the next one. Not because he remembers to get me a card or any kind of gift. In fact he usually doesn't do either, but life with him is a daily anniversary and I'm thankful for any chance we get to celebrate. I LOVE MUHAMMAD YASIN!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Learning to choose my battles
Jibrael is in kindergarten and we've had our share of "No, because I said so" moments, but this week I have caved on my principles. Why? Because I want my son to be happy, and because my husband doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. The question, should we send valentines to school on Friday. My point, there is no educational value in a valentine party. Additionally, our township is a participant in a healthy lifestyle pledge, and as such the children aren't even allowed to bring cupcakes for their birthdays. Despite those facts the children are allowed to bring in and exchange candied valentines.
Yes I do think that parties in kindergarten are cute and help establish social skills. But a valentines party gives the wrong message. Why so passionate? Because, my 5 yo told me that he wanted to give a valentine to Kylie and Juliette. Yes, I know you're all thinking well isn't that cute. NO, it's not I don't want my son exposed to girl friends, kissing, and yes even sex as a 5 yo. Think I'm reaching? I'm not, I volunteer in my sons school, which only goes up to the 5th grade and the things that these children are talking about are anything but innocent. And yes, my son goes to a five star school, majority of the kids are really good. But there's also the desensitization to adult relationships portrayed in ALL kids shows. So am I becoming that psycho mom who should really home school? I don't want to make him anti-social, I just want to teach him love and relationships when hes older... like 30!!!
Sadly, I agreed to allowing Jibrael to take valentines to school. In hopes that he will continue to be a good kid, while having a few moments of being like everyone else. Muhammad didn't see harm in them, and I suppose that if we play down the flying cupids and silly hearts, making it a cheap candy and friendship day it won't be so bad. Learning to pick my battles as a mom is a lesson I am constantly learning. Somethings are never going to change. I won't budge on eating Halal, or bare mid-drifts, or homework before sports. The art is in not feeling like a sell out for the sake of my childrens happiness.
Yes I do think that parties in kindergarten are cute and help establish social skills. But a valentines party gives the wrong message. Why so passionate? Because, my 5 yo told me that he wanted to give a valentine to Kylie and Juliette. Yes, I know you're all thinking well isn't that cute. NO, it's not I don't want my son exposed to girl friends, kissing, and yes even sex as a 5 yo. Think I'm reaching? I'm not, I volunteer in my sons school, which only goes up to the 5th grade and the things that these children are talking about are anything but innocent. And yes, my son goes to a five star school, majority of the kids are really good. But there's also the desensitization to adult relationships portrayed in ALL kids shows. So am I becoming that psycho mom who should really home school? I don't want to make him anti-social, I just want to teach him love and relationships when hes older... like 30!!!
Sadly, I agreed to allowing Jibrael to take valentines to school. In hopes that he will continue to be a good kid, while having a few moments of being like everyone else. Muhammad didn't see harm in them, and I suppose that if we play down the flying cupids and silly hearts, making it a cheap candy and friendship day it won't be so bad. Learning to pick my battles as a mom is a lesson I am constantly learning. Somethings are never going to change. I won't budge on eating Halal, or bare mid-drifts, or homework before sports. The art is in not feeling like a sell out for the sake of my childrens happiness.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I. Hate. Snow.
The funny thing is when I was a kid I wanted to live somewhere where it snowed. Now I don't even want to go across the street to pick up Jibrael from school when it's snowing out... What's wrong with me? Isn't it beautiful and pristine and all that stuff? Am I a bad mommie because I don't let the children go out and play in it and make snow angels and snowmen? I mean, I'm all for them having fun but I don't want to go out in the snow, i refuse to stand around being cold. And touching the snow would only make me wet so that's totally out too! I honestly am PRAYING for the day when I don't live in the MidWest! I miss the days when you had to go to the snow, and there was that crazy thought that it was only for skiing and boarding! What is snow for? There are always so many accidents and stupid ppl on the road!
So in short I HATE SNOW. And, at least for now, there isn't anything that I can do about it :(... My one person pity party I suppose. But I hope the snow doesn't ruin my girls night tonight because this has been quite the week with Aqeelah in panties. Yes she has made great progress, I mean Monday we went through 5 pair! But a few hours of ME time without having to worry about cleaning up poop accidents are truly welcomed.
So in short I HATE SNOW. And, at least for now, there isn't anything that I can do about it :(... My one person pity party I suppose. But I hope the snow doesn't ruin my girls night tonight because this has been quite the week with Aqeelah in panties. Yes she has made great progress, I mean Monday we went through 5 pair! But a few hours of ME time without having to worry about cleaning up poop accidents are truly welcomed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)