It can't be this hard!

I've been thinking about the progress that I have, or have not made at home. It's kinda disheartening for me, I know that I have been making a difference but I have so much ahead of me. I still haven't REALLY gotten Aqeelah potty trained, sure she pees in the potty, but as I've been informed if it's only when I tell her shes not actually trained. I wouldn't say that her behavior has gotten much better either. She throws tantrums and hits. I don't expect her to be perfect, she's still a baby, but after being at home for two months I do expect to see some changes... maybe even knowing my name!

As for Jibreal he seems to be enjoying me being at home more lately. He's growing up so fast and growing into quite the little smart ass! He's got a mouth on him, and I wasn't expecting that for another couple of years. Sure sometimes it's cute for your kids to question you. But for the most part it's just annoying. I'm finding myself counting to ten several times a day to avoid hurting his feelings. And I wonder if he realizes how much he hurts my feelings by being so mean. I know, that's a childish point of view. It all just becomes so clear when your the mom. To think of all the asshole moments I had as a kid, ha!

I guess that means both the brownsuga babies are entitled to act like babies. And I'm supposed to, as their mom, teach them how to be respectful and not pee in their pants! But why does it have to be so hard? I mean if insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, what does that make motherhood?

I still don't see how I was doing any of the things I NEEDED to be doing while working. My days pass so quickly and I don't get everything that I wanted to done. I'm thankful that Muhammad is so understanding, He hasn't complained once about dinner or having to help with bedtime. But I imagine I'd better get my self together before he gets wind of my failures. I just know if women can stay at home with 5 kids, I should be able to manage my 2! So I'm gonna take it one day at a time and have a little more patience with myself, after all I can't let them see me sweat ;)